What would you be more of if you let go of the past?
This is a timely question for me, as I go through the month of September I have been thinking and praying a lot about this past year and the transition from agency work (that ended traumatically for me) and going into private practice. There have been ups and downs, and there are still some leftover emotions and fears from last year. To top it off our office is moving at the end of this month and it will be exactly a year from when I left my last job.
So what do I need to let go of? And what would I be more of if I let go of the things from this past year? I let go of the fear that I had about speaking up when I needed help. I let go of the fear of not doing, being, providing, working, giving in, bending to the demands of my job no matter what, even when it meant sometimes fudging boundaries I never should have fudged or moral and ethical attitudes that weren’t the standards I want to uphold. Letting go of feeling like I’m not enough, or like others could succeed at the cost of my success. What I am more of now is more of myself. More of what I believe God has created me to be. Free to succeed by doing His will for my life. Serving my clients with compassion, mercy, support, ethical boundaries, and confidence that I am the right person to help them. Free to expand and explore other areas of my career that I now have the courage to try. I would be so much more joyful if I didn’t have to think about how I was put down, shut out, and worked in a schizophrenic environment, or held on to the fear that somehow I would have to experience that again.
The best part of this whole experience is that I have experienced the true compassion, support, and love of God as He has provided for my family during a time of financial and emotional re-building. I am so thankful to have had this experience, and my faith is fuller, stronger and closer to my God than ever. This is one of those trust and faith building times that has changed my life forever for the better.
A Few Verses for your Soul:
“Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you.” Isaiah 46:4NASB
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
11 For I know the plans that I [a]have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will restore your [b]fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’
25 “For this reason I say to you, [a]do not be worried about your [b]life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the [c]air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single [d]hour to his [e]life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But [f]seek first [g]His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be [h]added to you.
34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will [i]care for itself. [j]Each day has enough trouble of its own.