Uncertainty and Change; Friend or Foe?

Uncertainty: Friend or Foe?

Making a Change:

Since last year I’ve been working on a lot of goals. I opened a business and started working with supervisees for the first time. I’m putting myself out there as a trainer/speaker for the first time. First, first, first.

Adding these responsibilities have really stretched me and challenged me in a lot of ways. I’m learning to experience the emotions that come with owning something with your name on it. I am by no means an expert at business, but I like the challenge and I’m learning as I go. I was looking to grow and change and challenge myself. I’m accomplishing just that, and in the process I’ve done a lot of new things I’ve never done before. It’s a very exciting time for me.

The Challenge of Uncertainty

On the other side of taking these steps to obtain my goals in the counseling field comes a lot of uncertainty. Financial uncertainty, will I have enough clients, will supervisees come to see me, and what if I work months on a training and no one shows up? Fear of failure and the unknown can easily creep in.

The thing is, change and uncertainty are very challenging for me, and probably for many others. I tend to like plans and to know what’s next. Those that know me know how scheduled I am and how I like to plan my life way in advance. Business challenges that for me on so many levels. I’m very loyal and dedicated and I will drag out a tough situation that’s not great just to avoid the change and stay in my comfort zone. On the positive, this makes me a very loyal and consistent person and I’m great at commitment, but if I don’t keep myself in check I will continue a sometimes difficult or not good for me but good for them situation, or get stuck in the mundane.

It’s Not Just Me!

I’ve noticed some of the same challenges with change and uncertainty with people that I work with.  Either they hit a new milestone in their career, like getting their license and begin to explore their options, or they’ve decided to change the way they are doing something in their home or work life and dealing with the ambivalence that can sometimes follow the decision to make a change.

I read this morning on one of my favorite websites “Unstuck.com” that our brains see uncertainty as a challenge.  That we try to make up something certain in our minds to deal with the uncertainty because we are wired to survive that way.  This makes since in a survival situation, but it can sometimes be a stumbling block to a positive change. People tent to have trouble seeing past the ambiguity to the other side of the change. It takes a greater payout on the other end for people to walk through the uncertainty.

So Now What?

I was talking with someone I trust yesterday about some of the uncertainty I’m experiencing right now and she asked me how could I view uncertainty differently, rather than a threat? Or a fear? Well, here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Change is certain.
  • Change is sometimes necessary.
  • View it as an opportunity to be creative with your life.
  • Write out the positives of the end goals.
  • Practice self-care rituals to deal with the emotions of the change.
  • Lean on your support, your tribe, or who ever you go to for accountability and
  • Practice your faith and trust in you God, and also yourself to make the right steps.
  • Focus on the next step right in front of you, (Thank you Oprah for this one!)
  • Focus on the Process not the outcome (thanks Marie Forleo!)
  • Look at the ambiguity and uncertainty not as a threat, but as an opportunity to be creative and make some tough decisions.

How do you deal with change and uncertainty? Leave a comment below and share with your friends.

How to find Rest for Your Souls

I am currently going through some pretty significant changes in my life, and I never really stopped to allow it all to sink in. I just kept going along with working at full speed, even though these changes are impacting me physically and emotionally. I had this idea that I could just keep things going with no consequences until this week when i began waking up early all by myself, and thinking about work related things at times when I should be resting. That is usually a sign to me that I am in need of some type of change to balance out my life and relieve stress. I struggle with this battle of balance. How do I take care of myself, my family, and my clients to the fullest? Can I really be superwoman and have it all? A career? A family? and Enjoy it? So, I began praying and I asked God to show me how to navigate this path that I am on right now. I always find it interesting how he works. I pray for balance and for rest, and then all of a sudden I have a day (like today!) where all my clients cancelled and so I stayed home and spent time with my son all day, what a blessing it was. It was a reminder to me that if I just stop, and time to take care of myself, I can be refreshed and able to navigate these changes with more energy and clarity.

 

28 “Come to Me, all [a]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is[b]easy and My burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Footnotes:

  1. Matthew 11:28 Or who work to exhaustion
  2. Matthew 11:30 Or comfortable, or pleasan

 

Changes

I’ve been contemplating some changes lately. I have had “Jill’s Writing and Play Therapy Page” for about four years now and have finally decided to move to a self-hosted site to expand the website more. I am excited and have been planning for about a year, but I look at it and I always feel a little afraid. Afraid  that it will fall flat, or something won’t work, or that I’ll lose….fill in the blank. But at the same time I am truly excited to see where it goes from that change. So how will I deal with that change? Do I stay stuck in the same because of fear of change, or do I push through the fear to expand my website? I know I’m just writing about a website here, but there are many times we are faced with change for whatever reason. We move, we start a new career, we end a job, we make new friends, we move churches. Whatever the change, it helps to see what’s on the other side of it: New, Fresh start and how we get there: The process God leads us through.